It was January 1979.
I had a really bad car accident. By myself.
Alone, on my way to school, driving my cousin’s Celica.
On an old country road, I crashed head on into a main power line pole, going approximately 45 miles an hour.
Somehow I pushed the door open, holding my injured, arm, neck, self.
Climbed up the slippery embankment on two pummeled knees.
There was smoke, steam coming up from the front of the demolished car.
And the heavy valley fog surrounded me.
A stranger pulled up.
I think he might have seen the accident. The timing's a blur.
He loaded me into his car. Rushed me to the hospital.
The car accident was self-inflicted,
immature driving skills, distraction (looking for the perfect radio station).
This wasn't a DUI.
Thank God I wasn't with anyone else, under any influence of anything but my struggling, frustrated-with-my-life self.
I call it my wake-up call.
My kick in the pants from a God Who cares enough to kick.
I suffer today, still - physically from the broken bones, cervical fracture, smashed mouth, lost teeth.
I was Others
Others sat in darkness and gloom
— prisoners in cruel chains —
because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the counsel of the Most High.
He broke their spirits with hard labor;
they stumbled, and there was no one to help.
Before that day in January, quite a few "befores," I actually chose to live there. Chose to take up residence in the darkness and gloom and put on cruel chains, like that of an inmate, shackled.
In my craving for independence and freedom to do what I wanted, I despised Him.
I rebelled against God, against His commands.
“Not now God, give me some time to do my thing. I’ll be back. Don’t you worry."
That was a very long time ago. It was a previous chapter in this story of my life. But it is a very important one to tell.
As a 15 year old young girl, I made a very definitive decision. I remember the day, strange as that is to say. I remember choosing to slip into that dark cavernous place of rebellion.
Oh it sure didn’t look ominous or dark or cavernous at the time. In fact, it was a simple Yes to the ongoing party that I honestly thought I'd been missing.
Darkness and gloom do that. To me, it looked like freedom, independence, the place with no boundaries, where no one says No. And everything is Yes!
Wanted to do it my way. Control the outcome. Independence. Strength, not (perceived) weakness.
But it is what it is.
Chains. Cruel, imprisoning chains. Dark incessant gloom.
The chapters may be different in each person’s story. At the very least the Reveal is often different.
A cloak of acceptance by others, no restraints, a way out, escape.
Yet it is veneer-like. A thin covering over reality.
While sitting in “the party” those chains, they start to entangle. The ropes quickly tighten. Some days a little quicker then others. Some moments or circumstances or decisions speed up the process of imprisonment. But it comes.
...
And then there’s this.
... cried out to the Lord in (my self-inflicted) trouble; He saved (me) from (my) distress. He brought (me) out of Darkness and Gloom and broke (my) chains apart.
That car accident.
The one that totaled my cousin’s car.
Totaled my body, effecting it for a lifetime.
35 years later the discomfort, the pain, reminds me
He has broken down the bronze gates and cut through the iron bars of my rebellious, immature, misguided heart.
A promise not just for me but for all humanity.
This is for your daughter, your son, your mom, your dad.
This is for your neighbor, your husband, your grandchild.
This is for you
Then the promise
…they cried out to the Lord…he saved them…healed them…rescued them from the pit
That early Thursday morning I cried out.
I understood there was more to Me then the life I was living. He saved me
Hope met me there, on that old country road.
Let them give thanks to the Lord
for His faithful love and His wonderful works
FOR ALL HUMANITY.
For He has broken down the bronze gates
and cut through the iron bars.
Fools suffered affliction
because of their rebellious ways and their sins.
They loathed all food and came near the gates of death.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them from their distress.
He sent His word and healed them;
He rescued them from the Pit.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love
and His wonderful works for all humanity.
Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving
and announce His works with shouts of joy.
Psalms 107:10-22 HCSB
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