Planned Parenthood??

My family ... amazing!  

Perfect??   umm... 

     if my kids heard the word perfect they just might burst out laughing or roll their eyes or walk out of the room, shaking their head in that way that says “you’re delusional”

But I'm the mom - I know

    we are perfectly put together.

These lenses in my eyes allow me to see my kids, my family, very uniquely, perfectly formed by a perfect Creator.

My five kids 

(no we didn’t adopt again

no I didn’t get pregnant again

yes my daughter got married and now he’s ours)

 are definitely amazing!

They are God’s gift to me, to both their dad and me.

We are a perfectly formed family.

Years ago I would hear people talk about their perfectly planned family - 

        3 kids, 

        3 years apart

        star athletes, full-ride scholarships.... you get the picture.

They had it all planned out.

We can’t relate to that. Every time we tried to plan it was shifted, just a little here, a lot there.

The backward glance on my life helps me to see what I once thought as disappointments, difficult waiting times, a seemingly silent God, were actually a perfect plan in motion.

Forming our family has been an adventure, one sweet life at at time finding each other.

Just as God intended

Because 

Before the world began ... He knew us

While I was in my mother's womb, He knew me

While in their birth mothers' wombs, He knew them

While in my womb, He knew them

 He knew my sweet girl, the one who made me a mommy, 

      a woman one who has learned how to live grace and give grace like few 
      others,

 He knew my first boy, a gift of life, 

      one who was created with such purpose, definitely wanted, wired to love 
      fiercely

 He knew my second boy, a life of great worth, 
      one who is divinely appointed and chosen, who will impact his world with a story of 
      life given 
 He knew my third boy, a treasure to all who know him, 
       uniquely gifted with empathy and wisdom beyond his years 
 He knew my dear son-in-law, 
       one who is discovering a Father who has been there always,
       one who has stolen her heart and ours

amazing...

each one of them, perfect, called by name

He knew how much I would blow it as a mom 

           and yet he picked me to be their mom. 

Amazing!

He knew we, as their parents, would be asked very hard questions, a lot of “whys” at such young ages

He knew we wouldn’t always have all those answers 

           and yet he picked us to be their mom and dad. 

Amazing!!

He knew I would love them so much my heart hurt 

          but that I didn’t really understand love like He does 

          my imperfect, learning-on-the-fly, dependent on God kind of love

                                 because He is Love

and yet He planned for me to be their mom. 

Amazing!!!

He knows the answers to some very hard questions that are asked in our home. Some answers I don’t have, but I’m confident He does have.

I don’t have a clue why people are cruel

I don't know why they abandon, or others abuse, why people bully, why there is rejection

I don't know why it some times looks like He’s standing there, with arms crossed, indifferent, while life is pummeling us to the ground.

But I do know He is not indifferent
I do know that before the world was even created that He already knew me, each one of us

The truth is

He has promised to never leave me, He does not abandon

The truth is

We are given a hope and a purpose in a world that is hopeless and purposeless

The truth is
 He hears my prayers

          He answers my prayers

          He knows the story of my life before I know it

So, sometimes with faith that is so small it is hard to even see - I will choose to trust my God

I will surrender to Him my parenting abilities

           I will give Him my plans for the future

I will love my family .... my amazing, God-put-together family!!

A Beautiful Mind: the invisible

I'm saddened by disease, by illness...  and those who suffer.
I'm not talking about the common cold or a nasty, achy, snotty flu. I'm talking about someone I love having multiple seizures every day, someone else I love living with debilitating back pain, another one dear to me who has fought cancer - two times!!  Then there is the disease that affects the mind.

Oh... that one makes me pause...

The diseases of the mind are so complex,
  and so real,
  and so painful,
  and so affect everyone.
If you're living and breathing you have been impacted by this.

I guarantee, there's usually much more to any given situation 

and always much more to each person we meet 

than what we see at first glance. 

And that's the thing with mental illness, It can really be very invisible.
To the casual observer, the person may appear to have it "all together."
Yet when those symptoms flare up, when the storm starts or the disconnect begins,
   they are usually horribly misunderstood,
   horrendously bullied,
   and often feared.
The are misjudged over and over again!

So what's the answer? Do we owe it to each other to expose our pains, weaknesses, diseases or ailments? Are we supposed to walk up to someone and say
  Hi, I have cancer, sorry about the bald head
  Don't worry about me, it's just the Tourette's talking
  Sorry I didn't come to the party, I was too depressed to be around people

Yes ... and No
       
I have found that while we don't owe anyone an explanation for
   who we are,
   what we suffer with or
   how we look ...
when we do let them see into our pain, when we acknowledge the illness for what it is, we have the chance to be cared for

Then there's the No ... guarding our hearts. There is a Bully on the playground of life. He's a deceiver and He just wants to destroy. That's his game.
So whether we share on Facebook or send out a Tweet...
whether we blurt out our pain in a crowded classroom or around the office cooler,
these are potential paths leading to more pain

too often not leading to the care we crave and very much deserve.

My friend, search out those in your life who are safe.
Those who can give you that care you crave and that you very much deserve
    like a warm blanket when we have a fever,
    an arm gently placed around our shoulder when we're discouraged or
    a listening ear and a kind word that says I hear you and I believe you

Praying that the guarding hand of Wisdom will not give the Bully even one round on the playground.
Praying that we have eyes to see, to look beyond the immediate, the obvious
   that we have eyes to see the invisible, the broken and the beautiful.