"You're wrong!"

A few years ago I decided I was done with being told I was wrong.
Criticism? Had it up to here... and then some.
It was like emotional PTSD.

But I here sit today, realizing how unhealthy that is, kind of.

There seems to be two Extremes to this whole, set-you-straight mentality. There's the, "God told me to tell you ... blah, blah, blah." Without relationship, without wisdom, without care, this is wrong.

We've been picked apart quite enough, thank you very much.

I don't mean constructive criticism, or the "I'm truly concerned for your emotional/physical/mental/spiritual well being" friends
This Extreme is too often about the criticizer. It's like they use you as an emotional vomit pail. An impulsive, need-to-get-it-out-of-my-system offender
Not good
Not constructive
Not right

But back to my original reason for talking about this in the first place,
the other Extreme that is really an expression of love.

Who do I have in my life that can freely come to me and say, "Kathy you're wrong."

Just typing that makes me want to pull the blanket over my head and plug my ears.
La la la la ... I can't hear you.....

I'm not sure how I would want to hear it.
I don't even know, right now. if I'm ready for it.

But I never want to be so arrogant - to think I'm above reproach.

But then there's the self-esteem thing. I have such an issue with that. I already pick my own self apart pretty much every day.

But I don't want to be stuck, or delusional, or not growing, or so stupid I never want to change.

The best friends risk
The very best of people in your life are those that are willing to risk ... gently (baby steps)
The kindest of souls don't particularly like being the ones who call someone out. It's usually agonized  over, and over, and over before it's even approached.

So here goes ... 
1. Do you already have someone whom you trust to call you out?
2. If not, what holds you back?
        self esteem issues or arrogance or ....?
3. Are you Am I ready for this?
**Let me know right here on my blog, or on Facebook or Twitter. 

Thanks for answering my prayer God, but no thanks ...

I'm a blasted wretch! 

What happens when you're told that this is your last day at work.
You didn't see it coming
You need the money
You like where you work and you thought  you were doing a good enough job, maybe even - pause - a great job (this is coming from a woman in her 50's who hasn't worked full-time for a very, very long time - insecurity can be a menopausal woman's very best friend I'm telling ya)

Me
That happened to me.
But I have to apologize for misleading because, well
God listens, and sometimes His answers come so quickly and are so obvious

On the way to work that miraculous, heart-wrenching day,
   after a chiropractor appointment that followed a car accident earlier that week,
   that came on the heels of a nasty drug withdrawal (don't judge)
   immediately preceded by a few weeks of bronchitis ...

I was exhausted. I had the audacity -insert sarcastic tone- to ask God for help
God I'm exhausted. I can't hold all this together any more.
Not 4 hours later I found myself packing up my desk!
What is that?
When my boss first called me in to let me know (small company, limited resources) I was Blown Away! I could go home early. I didn't have to come back the next day with my feel-like-I-was-hit-by-a-truck-body.
It was so direct. It was so obvious. I was so grateful...
For all of two hours.

Like a a good whip-lash story, the pain isn't always immediate - but let me tell you, it does show up.
Like a good God-took-care-of-it-fast story, we don't always hang around to thank Him, to give Him credit. I think I was caught up in my what will people think brain. And that stupid self-esteem thing? It slithered in and took over. It actually knocked the beauty of the answered prayer right out of me.
I'm a blasted wretch! 

Thank You Jesus that it's not too late to say Thank You for the pause. 
Thank You for giving me what I needed when I needed it.
Thanks for giving me a great job with some great people for the time I had it. 
Forgive me for not trusting you with my self worth, our money, my tired body. 

And finally, if I try to take all of this back in the next couple of hours, 
please restrain me.  
Amen.