Calling out those lying enemy kings: Lessons learned from my friend Hezekiah

Last summer, I had one of those rare (for me) write-everything-you're-thinking moments. I was reading about ancient kings in the Bible. Often a kind of yawn-fest, but the story of King Hezekiah just jumped out at me.  I wrote and wrote and wrote. Too many distractions out there for me - too many what-ifs and should-ofs.  Here's a snippet... 
I hope you enjoy!

So often I've struggled with questioning God. 

I know I am sinful

and ... 

I know I am nothing without God. 

The point is, 

     He is God.

He has forgiven me and He decides when I need correction and guidance. 

Not some dumb enemy king. 

But for some reason, when that enemy starts nattering at me I listen. 

When I take my focus off of God’s word 

       or don’t pause throughout my week to hang out with Him 

then I get turned all around. 

I don’t know if it’s 90 degrees or 180 

    but I’m not heading the right way. 

Just like what happened to King Hezekiah, my ancient new friend, who was surrounded by other kings and their lies, we're surrounded by ideas and ideologies, doubts and fears. They are the ones who lie, deceive and destroy. Just like Hezekiah, they get my attention, way too easily, and way too often.

That I bother to give them an audience at all, astounding

That’s where I go wrong, and that’s where God gives me an out. 

And that’s when I love Hezekiah the most.

Sure, he was discouraged, had felt fear and maybe even abandonment by his God. 

But, in the end, none of that was true. *You really need to read the story... 

God sent a prophet, a very wise man. His name was Isaiah 

and he was sent to King Hezekiah to help clear his confused and fearful heart.

Thank you God for friends, counselors, mentors and pastors,

and for the great writers out there 

who help clear our cobwebs of faith. 

So often, what we feel or think is a trick in itself. 

My feelings and too much Kathy-thinking is a dangerous slippery path. 

Truth is what matters, 

and the truth for Hezekiah was that he served the “God of Israel, enthroned between the cherubim...(He) alone is God over all the kingdoms of the earth. (He) has made heaven and earth.” 

The prophet Isaiah had heard from God. 

Isaiah obeyed and went to see the King, 

assured him that God had heard the king’s prayers,

and that God, Himself, was calling out the lying kings that surrounded Hezekiah.

So here we are. I'm calling out those lying kings in your mind and heart. If you have ever found yourself in this same struggle with the nattering ideas and accusations that fill your head, stop right now. Whether it's a 180 degree turn or a mild 90 degree shift

Focus on Him. 

Spend time with Him.

Read the Bible, 

Listen to Him, 

    and The Truth.

I'd love to hear from you ... 

*You can Read here 
II Kings 18-20 (HCSB)

Thanks for answering my prayer God, but no thanks ...

I'm a blasted wretch! 

What happens when you're told that this is your last day at work.
You didn't see it coming
You need the money
You like where you work and you thought  you were doing a good enough job, maybe even - pause - a great job (this is coming from a woman in her 50's who hasn't worked full-time for a very, very long time - insecurity can be a menopausal woman's very best friend I'm telling ya)

Me
That happened to me.
But I have to apologize for misleading because, well
God listens, and sometimes His answers come so quickly and are so obvious

On the way to work that miraculous, heart-wrenching day,
   after a chiropractor appointment that followed a car accident earlier that week,
   that came on the heels of a nasty drug withdrawal (don't judge)
   immediately preceded by a few weeks of bronchitis ...

I was exhausted. I had the audacity -insert sarcastic tone- to ask God for help
God I'm exhausted. I can't hold all this together any more.
Not 4 hours later I found myself packing up my desk!
What is that?
When my boss first called me in to let me know (small company, limited resources) I was Blown Away! I could go home early. I didn't have to come back the next day with my feel-like-I-was-hit-by-a-truck-body.
It was so direct. It was so obvious. I was so grateful...
For all of two hours.

Like a a good whip-lash story, the pain isn't always immediate - but let me tell you, it does show up.
Like a good God-took-care-of-it-fast story, we don't always hang around to thank Him, to give Him credit. I think I was caught up in my what will people think brain. And that stupid self-esteem thing? It slithered in and took over. It actually knocked the beauty of the answered prayer right out of me.
I'm a blasted wretch! 

Thank You Jesus that it's not too late to say Thank You for the pause. 
Thank You for giving me what I needed when I needed it.
Thanks for giving me a great job with some great people for the time I had it. 
Forgive me for not trusting you with my self worth, our money, my tired body. 

And finally, if I try to take all of this back in the next couple of hours, 
please restrain me.  
Amen.

FREAK OUT or ... pray

peace the warrior

A few years ago I was reading a really good book, the kind of really good book that you read over and over again.
I came across a couple of paragraphs
       -- I'd read them before, in fact many befores --
but this time they stopped me in my tracks
Life-changing-words
    changed my life, or maybe it was my perception of my life and how to handle it
Let's just say it gave me options on how to work through this life that I've been gifted with

As I've made perfectly clear in my blog, I most certainly don't have it all together

     Sure my life is beautiful 

          It's even beautiful when it's not beautiful (stick with me here ...)

And  those times of  not so beautiful
 .... that's when those options kick in

Here .. let me paraphrase that "something" from that book 

Don't be anxious or freaked out about anything {at least not for too long}
   ~~~ don't leave me here, it gets better ~~~

Instead of melting down in all of those beautiful and not so beautiful moments
  try something new
Pray...
That's it ... really pray about the ugly, the scary, the unknown
And there's more
While you're at that Praying - Thank Him

        Thank God He's there for you,
        Thank God He knows you
  if all you can do is thank Him you're breathing...then
        Thank Him for breath
And that Praying ... really spell it out to God. He can handle it.
Tell Him what you need,
    tell Him what's wrong
        how screwed up it is
        how terrifying it is
        how absolutely impossible to is to understand what to do next
                 or live with what might come next
     the possibilities are freaking you out!!!
Don't over think it
   Don't over analyze it
Just give Him your order,
    Give Him your request
   ~~~ Told you it gets better ~~~
Then you know what happens next???
 ... while you're listening
   {prayer=conversation ... talking AND listening}
Peace...
{You do realize this whole praying, petitioning, thanking, begging is not usually a  five-minute Hail Mary moment - This is serious talking to God about serious stuff so slow down a bit - breathe - listen}
Peace...
Heart-soothing, blood-pressure calming
    sometimes slamming
    other times drizzling
        over your body - through your soul - Peace
This Peace - it won't make sense - it just doesn't make sense - not supposed to make sense
You won't understand this warrior
peace the warrior
   Protector of your Heart, the Guardian of your Soul
It will cover your very being, will keep your mind, your heart
Peace will shield you from despair,
   protect you from that beast called anxiety that is able to consume our very being.
Peace will guard your mind and your heart, in Jesus, the Christ

You're welcome ...




       

Change

It really happened ... I'm finding it hard to believe 
(and really I shouldn't be shocked, should I?)

Lying in bed two nights ago - feeling a little
   heavy in my heart
I'm lying in bed praying for a miracle.

*** for future purposes in this blog, when I say "praying ______ " I really mean actually praying, not "wishing" "thinking" "worrying" 
cause if I'm wishing, thinking or worrying, I will let you know

Anyway, I was lying there, praying for a couple of miracles actually.....

A prayer was said, Out Loud - to the point - and extremely sincere
         with just that little bit of faith that the God whom I was praying to was listening and caring

Fast forward about 18 hours later
  sitting in a chair reading a new book (really cool new book),
     listening to some music,
        looking up and seeing one boy reading a book 
        (another really cool book),
           another one doing homework .... and it really hit me.

The miracles I had prayed for had been answered with a YES

um ... No
It wasn't the reading of a book by a boy 
   or doing the homework without any prompting by another boy
    (did we all just feel the earth shift on it's axis just a little???)

It hit me then, that when I had woken up that next morning after the 
Out Loud prayer, God had done the impossible
   He had done "my" impossible
   something I could not manipulate or control,
                     I could not coerce, convince or even threaten 
(though I've been known to try all of those endearing tactics .... 
sometimes all at once)

No ... there wasn't a newly remodeled kitchen in place of the slightly water 
    damaged one
No ... the gas tank wasn't miraculously filled with enough gasoline to 
    actually last all week

These prayers had to do with heart, and mind, and character. The really important ones... the ones that are harder to actually track, you know?

But the prayer had been specific - I had asked for specific reactions, mood shifts and even some action.

It had happened!!

Do you get it?  I kind of wish I could explain exact details of what happened 
                - I can't -

Try to imagine with me Something completely out of your will and control
Something that seems to always happen the same way,
Changed
Someone who always reacts the same way,
Changed
Someone who seems to always respond the same way
Changed!!

Not the same, not in my control, not what I expected (but yet did expect ... )

I really knew my God could do it - I really knew it.  I didn't know if I dared hope that it would happen that directly but I have gotten to a place in my thinking and heart
at least some times
"it doesn't hurt to ask."

So, just ask for tomorrow what you would never expect ...
Because what we assume is stuck, like a broken record
what we assume will happen again the next day, just like it always does

just might Change