Invitation to a LoveFest

I read this verse (again, for-the-first-time) a couple of days ago. 

Mind - Blown 

An invitation given to Perfect Love

A LoveFest that all Love relationships are judged by.

Sheer perfection.

“…the one who loves Me will be loved by my Father. I also will love (Kathy) and will reveal Myself to (her).”   

No - my name isn’t in the original text.

Try it.

Put your name in there.

It’s personal. It’s for me. It’s for you. It’s for our today.

I have had a life-long belief that Jesus loves me. Even when I turned from Him, chose to not love Him in return, I never doubted.

But this!

This brings home so much more. The Father also loves me! I'm part of the conversation ... Again. Blows my mind!

Let’s break it down ...

   the one who loves Me

Me = Jesus the Divine, who freely came to this earth, through a messy birth canal, into a stinky dirty barn, living in all of the physical limitations, emotions, sadness, hormones, grief, loss

(Don’t worry, He never loses His sovereignty - He is God.

Another one of the mysteries of the Almighty)

We need to remember how much He gets us.

Thirst, hunger, passion, and at times, outright exhaustion.

He Gets It!

  will be loved by my Father.

my Father = the One Who created us for the simple fact that He wanted to. 

  Kathy WILL BE loved by my Father!

     It’s a Promise

     And He can’t break promises because He is God

And it keeps on going, my friend

  I (Jesus) will also love Kathy ~sigh~ and will reveal Myself to her

Myself = The Holy Spirit, the Comforter

God the Father, Jesus the Savior, revealed to me (to you)

with me

everywhere

all the time

in all circumstances because He said He would be.

Jesus lived life full, never lost sight of His purpose, the why He came to live among His creation in the first place. And when It was finished, when it was time for Him to go and prepare our Forever Home, He didn't leave us alone. 

“In a little while the world will see Me no longer, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live too. In that day you will know that I am in My Father, you are in Me, and I am in you. The one who has My commands and keeps them is the one who loves Me. And the one who loves Me will be loved by My Father. I also will love him and will reveal Myself to him.” (‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭19-21‬ HCSB)

Just have faith. How irritating is that!

I have lived (am living still) through a week, a month ... well you get the picture
I've been stripped
   stripped of my abilities,
   stripped of my knowing, my grasping what's next.
I've had time to think about Faith. How little of it I have had at times, but mostly how misguided my faith can be. The kind of faith that has left me with heart wrenching fear and out of control panic.
I'm not alone in this. I know you've been there.

Faith, real, live honest, life-changing Faith.

It never stands alone

All by itself? faith is nothing, and potentially dangerous.

Sure, it's such a pretty word. It's even a beautiful name for a cute baby girl.
But what - or who - are we putting our faith in?

I have faith. Period.
Keep the faith. Period.
Just have faith. Period.
Seriously people. You can't stop there!

Because, like I said, faith all by itself is probably just a beautiful name for a sweet little girl.

Misplaced, it is powerless to get the job done, and potentially misguiding and most often, disappointing.

It's just not sustainable on it's own.
The danger comes when we risk entrusting our lives and hearts to things and entities that have no business being in charge. Just have faith is just not enough!

True Faith is a gift. We've all been given it.
Some of us... the Faith-gift is so small it can be hidden away in our pocket, the size of a piece of lint. Others... they haven't even realized it's there's for the taking.
Then there are those who have this seemingly huge, behemoth ocean full of Faith that comes rushing out of them in waves. Soaking everyone in it's path with such thirst-quenching, cool you off in the middle of a hot-flash kind of way. 

But that's the thing about Faith. It's powerful, life-changing, hope-giving
   When it's Faith in the One, the Creator
                   Faith in the One worthy of it
                   Faith, whether lint-sized or ocean-huge, in the One
                     Who gets done what needs to be done
                              when it needs to happen!
Faith is definitely not passive. I mean, it can't just sit there as a word. It can't just be a statement without action. Yet, ironically, the action is often in doing the nothing.
         Stay with me here.
Sometimes the action is in purposely surrendering a circumstance or a situation into the hands of the One in whom you've placed your Faith-gift in.

It doesn't mean I'll know what's going to happen next.
It doesn't necessarily mean I'll even know what to do next, how to help, what it will take to fix it, or survive it. 

But I've discovered this past month, and many others before this
    I don't want to live this life without purposely putting my Faith in God.
I've tried it. It stinks. It fails.

So here it is
     no matter how shaky I feel,
     no matter how lint-small my Faith seems,

I trust you Father, to heal a mind, to protect my child, to make all of it make sense. I trust You. You do know what is best for me. You do love me and mine more than I do. I have Faith in You to guide us, to stop us, to carry us. Even when my Faith is miniscule, I give it to You. 

So no thanks ... I won't Just have faith 
       in myself or in you
       in a doctor or my family or technology or money...
Jesus ... my Faith is in You!

Who Was, Who Is, Forever ...

Holy Holy Holy
   Is the Lord God Almighty
Who Was
     and Is
       and Is to come

*Either I believe it … the whole thing
 or it's all rubbish
        and I'm a fool!

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come…

Holy, holy, holy 
        is the Lord God Almighty
Who was  
     and is
        and is to come …

Over and over, and over again.
Every moment of every day
  when I'm sleeping
  while I'm driving
  when I'm watching TV or writing a blog
  while sitting at a desk
         or having dinner around the table

when I'm angry
    when I'm laughing,
while I'm crying, feeling impatient, expressing love …

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come …

Holy, holy, holy
   is the Lord God Almighty,
      Who was, and is and is to come ….

When the world looks huge and insurmountable, my problems seem overwhelming
When I think I'm all that, my contentment and happiness the most important thing
When I'm frustrated, focusing on "what might happen"
    or consumed with the you've-gotta-be-kidding times in my life

It doesn't take me being aware to make something real. Truth doesn't need my permission or even my participation in order to be true!

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who was, and is and is to come …

After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. 

And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said,

    Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this. 

At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven and someone sitting on it. And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. 

Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders…

From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 

Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.

In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures… 

Day and night they never stop saying:

     Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, 

     who was, and is, and is to come.

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever.

They lay their crowns before the throne and say: 

     You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,

     for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being…

*I believe …

(Holy, holy, holy is my Lord, God, the Almighty One, You were before. You are right now, and You will be forever… Everything I've accomplished, anything that I am - it's Yours. I give it up, over and over again. Only You are worthy to receive any glory, any honor, all power. You are the Creator of all, You will all things in to being.

Holy, holy holy ...)

This is gonna be a good year because ...

I have a grandaughter (-sigh-)

Holding that sweet little one is like a spa day 
                            beach day
                                    vacation day
                   coffee and cake day all rolled in to one. 

She is sweet, delicious, soft, fragile, and precious! 
Her little knees…
    ooohhh how I love baby’s little knees 
                             and their little “laps” 
Have you ever just looked at a little one's lap? Priceless!

When she stretches, 
               arching backwards with her hands clenched tight and her face all smooshed 
I just want to kiss her face and hold her tight and drink her up.
It’s like a vitamin for the soul, 
                 the best blood pressure medicine you could ever be prescribed. 
Better than a puppy, 
   or a kitten,
   or a walk on the beach when the sun is setting and the temperature is perfect. 
Better than a ride on a motorcycle through winding country roads. 
Better than coffee, hot and steamy and perfectly brewed with freshly roasted beans. 
Better than a huge slice of chocolate cake, home-made, butter cream frosting, most and chocolatey. 
Better than the first slice of coffee bread, warm out of the oven with butter on top. 

This is gonna be a good year!!

Thirsty

I’m so hungry ... so thirsty

This can’t be, is not enough 

                   what I can see with my eyes, 

                   hear with my ears and feel and touch. 

I need so much more, I crave what’s real. 

Like breathing in oxygen, 

    like a cold drink of water on a hot dry day,

         like the first bite of food after a long fast. 

I am not enough

What I think, what I know, what I feel I can do on my own. 

It fails, over and over again

I am not enough.

I run, collapsing, at Your feet

Here I lay, nothing left to give ... fully exposed, vulnerable, surrendered

You are everything, You are all that matters, You are in charge, in control. 

You are my Oxygen, my Water, my Bread. 

You are my Life, my Center, 

      my Everything

I lay here, not moving. 

Slowing my breath, covering my head, laying as a child, a newborn, completely vulnerable to Who You are, what You are capable of doing. Complete trust. This is where I belong, in your Presence, that Holy Place, the Holiest of all that is Holy. My mind tries to visualize, tries to imagine it ... I think I can almost grasp it, catch a glimpse of You.

Oh, to see You, the Creator,

          the Provider, the Judge, the Anointed One,

                my Father, my Lover, my Friend. 

You alone speak, and all of creation pauses, holds it’s collective breath for further instruction, 

              for the chance to hear your Voice. 

The Voice that spoke and mountains burst forth out of nothingness, 

         the One who spoke and teeming waters were formed into seas. 

The Voice who does speak, brings forth life out of a womb, 

          the One who does speak and directs the angel soldiers to fight, protect and defeat the accuser.

You alone control, judge, guide, direct, allow, give, hold, comfort, create, heal, restore, Love! 

You are Love, 

     not mushy, fleeting weak affection, 

but profound, cemented, heart-reaching, heart-changing, centering kind of Love. 

Love that surrenders everything when nothing is deserving.

Love that allows pain in order to bring wholeness. 

Love that breaks, in order to mold. 

Love that hears every voice, every heart’s cry that is in tune with it’s Creator.

I quietly, completely-broken, fully-surrendered, lay at your feet, 

       before your throne, in the midst of your majesty

Planned Parenthood??

My family ... amazing!  

Perfect??   umm... 

     if my kids heard the word perfect they just might burst out laughing or roll their eyes or walk out of the room, shaking their head in that way that says “you’re delusional”

But I'm the mom - I know

    we are perfectly put together.

These lenses in my eyes allow me to see my kids, my family, very uniquely, perfectly formed by a perfect Creator.

My five kids 

(no we didn’t adopt again

no I didn’t get pregnant again

yes my daughter got married and now he’s ours)

 are definitely amazing!

They are God’s gift to me, to both their dad and me.

We are a perfectly formed family.

Years ago I would hear people talk about their perfectly planned family - 

        3 kids, 

        3 years apart

        star athletes, full-ride scholarships.... you get the picture.

They had it all planned out.

We can’t relate to that. Every time we tried to plan it was shifted, just a little here, a lot there.

The backward glance on my life helps me to see what I once thought as disappointments, difficult waiting times, a seemingly silent God, were actually a perfect plan in motion.

Forming our family has been an adventure, one sweet life at at time finding each other.

Just as God intended

Because 

Before the world began ... He knew us

While I was in my mother's womb, He knew me

While in their birth mothers' wombs, He knew them

While in my womb, He knew them

 He knew my sweet girl, the one who made me a mommy, 

      a woman one who has learned how to live grace and give grace like few 
      others,

 He knew my first boy, a gift of life, 

      one who was created with such purpose, definitely wanted, wired to love 
      fiercely

 He knew my second boy, a life of great worth, 
      one who is divinely appointed and chosen, who will impact his world with a story of 
      life given 
 He knew my third boy, a treasure to all who know him, 
       uniquely gifted with empathy and wisdom beyond his years 
 He knew my dear son-in-law, 
       one who is discovering a Father who has been there always,
       one who has stolen her heart and ours

amazing...

each one of them, perfect, called by name

He knew how much I would blow it as a mom 

           and yet he picked me to be their mom. 

Amazing!

He knew we, as their parents, would be asked very hard questions, a lot of “whys” at such young ages

He knew we wouldn’t always have all those answers 

           and yet he picked us to be their mom and dad. 

Amazing!!

He knew I would love them so much my heart hurt 

          but that I didn’t really understand love like He does 

          my imperfect, learning-on-the-fly, dependent on God kind of love

                                 because He is Love

and yet He planned for me to be their mom. 

Amazing!!!

He knows the answers to some very hard questions that are asked in our home. Some answers I don’t have, but I’m confident He does have.

I don’t have a clue why people are cruel

I don't know why they abandon, or others abuse, why people bully, why there is rejection

I don't know why it some times looks like He’s standing there, with arms crossed, indifferent, while life is pummeling us to the ground.

But I do know He is not indifferent
I do know that before the world was even created that He already knew me, each one of us

The truth is

He has promised to never leave me, He does not abandon

The truth is

We are given a hope and a purpose in a world that is hopeless and purposeless

The truth is
 He hears my prayers

          He answers my prayers

          He knows the story of my life before I know it

So, sometimes with faith that is so small it is hard to even see - I will choose to trust my God

I will surrender to Him my parenting abilities

           I will give Him my plans for the future

I will love my family .... my amazing, God-put-together family!!