Please Don't Misunderstand Me

Today it hit me ... I am misunderstood

And then I realized, not just me, but so many of us.

"Us" is a club, not necessarily one you ask to join, but you're not given much choice. The club is massive. I meet new members all the time. The problem with the club is it's kind of a secret, or the members treat it secretively. They really don't want to be identified in the club, yet when they find another member .... it's WOW! You don't have to fill them in on every detail. You start to talk and they just know, they relate. Whether it's chronic illness and pain, or a child who's broken and hurting. It could be marriage ripped apart by betrayal or perversion. It can be financial ruin, bankruptcy. There might be police involved, jail time, hospital stays, psych wards, chemotherapy, or addictions too numerous to state. But when they meet and recognize each other, there's a load lifted, maybe just shifted, but definitely an impact is made.

I'm talking about those of us who have faced stuff, some times so huge you can't put it into words.
Some times so huge you cry as you write about it.
Some times so huge you can't even explain it
     or often stuff it away so you don't have to deal with it.

The misunderstood part is -
     some times there are great days and great moments!
I mean awesome, hilarious, toes-in-the-sand, beautiful, coffee in your hand kind of days!  When those days happen, I find myself wanting to just enjoy it, tell someone about it. And that's good. It's healthy to land there, and recognize it. It fights off depression or a sense of fatalism and "woe is me" status. It gives eternal perspective and helps me see the big picture. It allows a day or moment to just breathe ....

But the reality of it is, the stuff is there.
Don't get me wrong, I'm in the middle of seeing miracles take place. A body and mind in the process of healing, a heart that is trying to surrender and heal. But the stuff is happening, it just keeps rolling in.

So please don't misunderstand me - or those you meet whom you know are in the club. You've met so many of us, and might be a member yourself. Don't assume everything's goin great right now for them. But check in. Let them know you're aware, that you see them.

Don't assume their child in rehab is all better
Don't assume they will never cut again
Don't assume their cancer in remission isn't back
Don't assume their marriage is healed because they went to counseling

Please don't misunderstand.