30 Years Together! What?!?

A week ago, while checking in to our Bed & Breakfast

to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary...

gasp… are you kidding me!?!

                 Married for 30 blasted years!!!

Anyway,

      the innkeeper said to me...

"Thirty years. Wow! You'll have to tell me later what your secret is."

That got me to thinking.

What is the secret to 30 years of marriage?

and how did I get this old?

~~a week later~~


I don't think it's just one thing,
or even a secret at all
 
First of all, we've worked at it -  really, really worked at it.
2. It is HARD work a lot of the time
3. It's worth it.. and you have to believe that

4. We spend time together.
5. I never let my mind imagine life without him.
6. I like that we've passed the romantic expectations.
7. I love it when we have romantic moments.

8. Honesty is so important
9. Not saying everything I'm thinking is so important.

10. Finding my self-worth in who God made me to be takes the pressure off of us.

11. I can't change him (Norb) … I have to work on me.

12. We pray together, we really do - not nearly often enough but definitely often.
13. We still date, we really do - not nearly often enough but definitely often.

14. He doesn't bring me flowers very often … oh well.
15. I don't like wearing sexy stuff to bed … oh well.

16. We hold hands.
17. I'm happy to invite him out on date… or even book the Bed & Breakfast

18. I don't tell him how to cut his hair and he doesn't tell me how to color mine.

19. Therapy for me and therapy for us … it's worth the money

20. Vacations together … it's worth the money





21. Our kids mean too much to us for us to not mean the world to each other!!

Our kids & their Mama

Sophie & her Mama

22. Laughing.

23. I purposely preserve our friendship as the number one.
24. I purposely have great friendships that I work on. I love my girlfriends!
25. He purposely loves to do guy things with his guy friends.
26. If either one of us feels ignored we make sure we talk it through, work on it.

27. Netflix, coffee & dessert!!!!!

28. Forgiving even when we haven't worked it all out
29. Kissing … almost forgot that one but I'm positive he wouldn't ;-)

30. The more I fall in love with my Creator, the more love I have for Norb.

Some of these seem silly to post because,
              well, they are so obvious.
Yet, while writing it down I realized that
    sometimes it's the most obvious things we miss.
    sometimes it's the simplest stuff,
            like giving each other a break.
            like holding on for a few days, weeks or even months
                believing this relationship storm will pass.
       Or like committing to something that you've made a commitment to.
See what I mean? Kind of obvious.

I'm almost done here … bear with me.

Work … seems to be a common theme
Most of the 30 I've posted have to do with me …
  not because marriage is single-minded
    but because only I can deal with I.
If I try to lay the heavy on him all the time then we're screwed.

Hey … now that you're done, go back and re-read #30.
Cause after all my yammering here … there you have it.
The secret to 30 that is no longer a secret!!

Norb… Here's to 30 more.  I love you!!!!

I Choose to Believe

The devil is real
Hell is real
Eternity is real

Now you can choose to not believe anything I'm writing right now.  In fact there are days I can choose to not pay much attention to the facts. I'm not looking for a demon under every rock, giving credit to the devil for life's cause and effect. But it's real ... that's a fact!

You may be reading this and assume I'm crazy, that I haven't a clue what I'm talking about and decide this is the last post you're ever gonna read from this delusional woman.

That's fine, but first hear me out.

God is real
Heaven is real
Eternity is real

If you've lived on this planet for more than a day, you've experienced all of this already. You've been in the very midst of eternity. It would be very arrogant to think that what we look at in the mirror is everything ... sadly many days I do think that. It's narcissistic to believe all that happens in our world is up to us, dependent on us. It's not.

Be honest with yourself, you know it's not true.
If you've been present at the birth of a baby, or stood on a pier and watched a pod of dolphins play in the ocean you know there is more to life than just "us."
You've read about, heard about, possibly even experienced evil.
You've sensed fear, darkness, isolation, loneliness. Those are all the schemes that the devil has devised to conquer and break us down.

Eternity - the forever after, beyond what we see, smell, hear right now.
Like cataracts on our eyes. We think we see it all clearly each day, feeling happiness one moment, sadness the next. We go from euphoria to despair. We believe what we see. But like cataracts, our eyesight is fuzzy, what is real is hard to see. What you think life is supposed to look like, isn't true, isn't clear.  There is more, oh, so much more! Forever after will be like that, eye surgery to remove cataracts, laser surgery to correct our vision.
That is the hope we have, the bigger picture, what is to come. How we live today is part of that. Is integral and full of purpose. But it's foggy, hard to see. Not clear to our sin-sick vision.

So now we have two options.
Believe or not believe
I choose to believe,
I choose to realize each day,
       each disappointment, each need
       every celebration, every desire and craving is a part but not the whole
These things are not what our life is about, not the end all, not all there is

The devil is real
God is everything
Hell is real
It's not created for me or mine, but for the devil and his angels
Heaven is real
It is my focus, my forever-after, my eternity