Parenting 101

It's not an argument
It's not a fight
It just is!

WHY hasn't Someone Told me ThIs BEFORE!!!!

Instead of screaming in irritation I have to be honest
I feel like I've always known this
But yesterday
  talking to a friend on the phone
  I heard it for the "first" time, again

It's not an argument
It's not a fight
It just is!

How brilliant.

Don't get me wrong,
     There is time for conversation and feedback.
     There's time to listen, even when what they say is completely irrational
     They are definitely allowed to have an opinion

But THEY - our children
     sometimes they just need to be told
     It just is!!

If you're a parent and you're reading this… you probably didn't taking Parenting 101 either otherwise you wouldn't have even bothered to open up this post. Those parents have it all figured out.
So you're probably a parent, or soon to be parent, who feels stuck, completely powerless, or scared spitless. Maybe you've blown it like me (perceived or real), or afraid you will.

This next step for me (us) in parenting really goes back to the first one that I must have forgotten.

No matter how much my little boy squirmed, the nurse needed to give him his shot.
No matter how hard my little girl cried, I needed to get her in that lukewarm tub in order to get that fever down.
No matter how scared he was on his first day of school, we needed to walk in together and give it a try.
No matter how confused he was, he needed to stay in the hospital and I had to walk away ...

No matter how hard it is to grow up - they have to grow up!
The option to that is, well...
                no option at all.

The emotion behind all of this is so real, but it can't always be emotionally driven.
Some things are necessary.
Whether the situation is life and death or
      as foggy and uncertain for some as to how to mature and grow

I have to do this

It's not going to be an argument
It's not going to be a fight
It Just Is!!!

(Thanks for listening … I feel much better now.)

A Beautiful, Tortured Mind

Looping thoughts that won't turn off
Someone sings a song that you can't stand
then it's stuck
stuck in your mind and you find yourself singing it all day long

I wish it was as irritating as that
   as simple as a silly diddy looping in your head.

Dark, looming thoughts,
you want to scream at them
except those thoughts are in your head, and it doesn't usually help to scream at yourself

Then for some reason you hit your arm, or bump in to something
Pain
It's real, it grounds you with the present
It distracts

Distraction is good when those thoughts just won't leave
A cut
longer each time
each time there's a sense of now
   an escape from the incessant thinking

It soothes for a moment
It releases something that tells you, so briefly, I'm gonna make it

The problem is, just like the looping mind, the thoughts that won't turn off
The Cut is not enough
Never quite enough
So you cut more, scrape a little deeper, a little longer, a little more often

The diseases of the mind are so complex,
  and so varied,
  and so real,
  and so painful,
  and so affect every person on this planet. If you're living and breathing you have been impacted by this - that I promise.
   First impressions, there's much more to a situation or person then we see at first glance.
That's the thing with mental illness, It's often invisible. To the casual observer, the person may appear to have it "all together." Yet when the symptoms flare up they are usually misunderstood,
   horrendously bullied
   often feared
   definitely misjudged over and over again!

To all of you who live with a tortured mind
I honor you for your bravery
  For surviving the days you have survived
  For excepting help when you can
You are loved by the Father … and you are loved by me