Just say the word

This week … I’ve been going back and forth, vacillating
At times I'm convinced ...

The other shoe is gonna drop
Something bad is going to happen
Something - really - bad

Then I hear the whisper of hope

Look what I'm going to do

...

Just say the word, Jesus

There’s a story I recently re-read. It's a story of a soldier who lived centuries ago. His title - centurion. 

He was an important man in the Roman army so many years ago.
This story was written for me, today.

The Faith of a Roman Officer

Go ahead and read it.
Maybe you'll skim it over and not really think much about it, how it relates to you, 
cause, well … you’re not a centurion in the Roman army in the year 3 AD (give or take a year)

Yet, I love this story, in all of it's ancientness.
I love this snippet of a biography of a man who lived centuries ago.
A powerful man.
Soldiers under his authority who obeyed his every command.
Probably a wealthy man who seemed to have it all.
A beautiful home.
Servants and slaves who ran the home.
And then there was this one.
"a most valued slave who was deathly ill"

Here was a man. A Roman centurion meant to be respected, probably feared, in charge.

And he found himself desperate. He found himself without being able to fix some thing. He had no answer. He didn’t know what to do next or who to call for help. I’m sure he had the money for the best physicians … he had resources at his disposal. And none of them were working. Nobody could help. Nothing worked.

One of his slaves, a very important commodity in his home, was lying on his death bed. Remember, this was a time when slaves and servants were integral parts of a wealthy and prestigious family's functioning. 
Yes - this is a subject that frightens us today, repulses us to think that a man, a woman, a whole family should ever belong to another. Yet here is this soldier, who is desperate for his slave, whom he valued. Desperate for help.

Desperation leads us to do many things. It leads us to spend money we don’t have. It leads us to anxiety-induced illness. It causes families to fall apart, when they should be coming together. Desperation has the potential of stripping us bare of all we are - using up all the resources we have.

And then Jesus comes along.
This soldier-man, he had heard of Jesus. Maybe he had met him at some point while guarding the temple. His status in the military would have placed him in the know. He would have known all about this rebel rabbi named Jesus from Nazareth. 
But what he had heard and possibly even witnessed, had obviously impacted him.

There’s one smart guy.
Not missing Truth when it’s right in front of him.
He recognized the real thing, possibly because he had searched for it everywhere. And the answer was not to be found.
All he did find was that there was nothing to heal this disease afflicting his servant.
There was no more coin to be paid, no more effort to be expended to save this valued member of his household.
There was no other answer
So in his desperation, in his surrender of heart, he trusted the Truth when he saw it.

Say the word, Jesus.
He knew that this Man, God incarnate, the Divine in the flesh, just had to speak and the disease would be gone. He recognized the authority, the spiritual authority that Jesus had over the affliction that had affected his household. 

Jesus.
With a word is able to cure disease, break addiction, remove oppression.

The centurion recognized Truth standing before Him.
He acknowledged the power and sovereignty - God in the flesh.
He believed that if God is Who He says He is, He is able, with a spoken word to transform a disease-ridden body to wholeness.
Jesus ... able to break the grip of addiction, heal a dissolving marriage, eliminate chronic pain, eradicate cancer. 
God is able. He is able to do this.

As Jesus whispers in my heart
look what I’m going to do

I'll surrender my will, my timing, my way muddling through desperate nothingness.
I will respond...

When your kid lies... what to do, what to do

If you’ve never experienced that first time?

Your little one looks you straight in the eye - with chocolate peaking out of the corner of their mouth, a trail of chocolate chips in their wake - and says...
 No. I didn’t have a cookie Mommy.

Just hold on… the Lying Train is coming. It’s just a matter of time.

My friend *Genevieve and I were talking about this the other day. We were lamenting really. That First Time. Sometimes our Littles are little enough that it’s kinda cute. Then the Next Time… whoa what’s up with that? And for some of our kiddos… too many Next Times I’m afraid.

The Lying Train pulled in to our family station so many years ago, there were shovels and coal involved.

My friend’s Lying Train? Operating like a bullet train ripping through a beautiful European countryside.

I do love it when you can find someone who has gone before you, has experienced that something, a comrade-in-arms so to speak. Whether that someone has a clue what to tell you to do about it (that was me), or that friend has pearls of wisdom to throw your way.

At least you have a cheerleader and at least there is someone else to hang out with in that “Parents of Children That Lie” club.

The result of our conversation? other than confessed tears, frustration, a sense of fear (chronic liars are a thing), we put our heads together and came up with these:

5 Things To Do When Your Child Lies

1. If you lie… STOP

2. If you don’t do #1, then remember. This is not about you. This is not about your parenting.
If you won’t even Enter in the Exit door at the grocery store… you’re probably not the influence here.

3. Kids have choices.
They're mini-people, born with the ability to choose. They have their own decisions to make. They have their own consequences to learn.

When my 1st was little I had such a hard time with this one. Seeing her as her own person was a tough one. It was an emotional struggle, and she’ll tell you at times a physical one. A lot of wish-I’d-known-better and wish-I-could-have-a-do-over moments for me. But they do have choices to make. The sooner Moms (and Dads) recognize this, and accept it as truth, it will give the parent the break. And will free the child to grow ...

4. Let them Fall, Let them Fail. 
Listen to Kathy and Dr. Laura and Stop rescuing your kid!
You can Never over-love but you can over-rescue (if I could rewind the clock ...)

You have to let them endure the consequence of lying.

If that means a teacher failing them at school (gulp),
a store manager telling them they can’t shop there anymore (BIG gulp),
or maybe straight-to-the-heart-ouch! a parent not letting them play with their kid anymore (Seriously, who does that?)
Whether they should or not, whether it’s fair or not
If it’s the result of dishonesty I’m afraid we have to walk that through.

5. Hang in there.

Parenting is like the most intense whitewater rafting trip you’ll ever take.

Parenting teens? Categories 5 and 6.

Some days. Some months, dare I say years? you feel like you've been catapulted out of the raft. But you can crawl back in. You can do this.

And they do grow up.

They grow up with scrapes on their knees, maybe a broken bone or two, a few bad grades (or a lot of bad grades), broken hearts, years that are hard and hopefully years that are Amazing!

Scraped knees and broken bones?
They've played outside and run wild and free, or they've tried something hard or done something stupid.
Bones heal.

Bad grades? They’re gonna learn life takes hard work, not everything’s handed to them.

A broken heart? A most amazing opportunity to grow an empathetic heart.
To learn early on that not everyone loves them.
Not everyone likes them.
That’s okay. That’s real life.
Love them, hug them, listen to them.

The seemingly endless hard weeks or months or years? It strengthens the soul as we depend on God.

I promise.



*Names have been changed to protect the guilty