Friday, May 29, 2015

Oh my aching, menopausal brain!!

So I'm driving down the freeway on this glorious, sunny California day and I get a great idea for a blog post. When the idea hits me I'm immediately lamenting that I didn't bring my laptop with me in the car. I got this... I'll use my phone.

See? Perfect spot.
After following The Slowest Person In The World into the Costco parking lot, I find it. The perfect parking spot... you know the one. Up close to the door AND beside the cart doohickey-thing. Shopping at Costco is exhausting and I need an efficient get-away (these are important details to a productive Friday).

I pull into my spot, put the car in park, pick up my phone.
I hit my Evernote app (A most excellent tool for note taking and blog writing... you're welcome)

...  and now I'm just sitting here.
Nothing ...

just the sound of chirping coming out of my brain

Obviously I'm writing this blog post but that's only because I'm so irritated with myself that I can't remember what that brilliant idea was. Arrgh!!

Curse you brain!!!

freakishly massive
and delicious
smoothie/bowl thingy
It's time to do the backtrack ...


  • Had a bad sleep last night (back is killing me)...
  • Popped by Natalie's and got my Sophie kiss (feeling better)...
  • Went for a walk with my friend this morning…
    • we found an awesome "Attic Sale" - attics are awesome...
    • bought a couple vintage toys (score!!)...
    • we ate a freakishly massive smoothie/bowl thing...

That's it! Walking with Kelly this morning was my inspiration. Got me thinking about good friends, and times when you don't seem to have friends, and never taking for granted the friends you do have. Now is that so hard to remember you aging, menopausal brain?

And now, cause I've been sitting in my running car (sorry environment) racking my brain to get the thought back
- I'm exhausted.
I don't have the energy to actually write anymore.

That's all I got ...

Happy Friday!!

By the way, that microphone button on our blessed iPhone? It's brilliant I tell ya!
It's how you get a blog written when you don't carry your laptop with you everywhere.
It's how you type any more than two words on your iPhone when you're brain doesn't cooperate and you're beyond irritated and ... that's that.








Tuesday, May 26, 2015

When life isn't a Hallmark movie...

When I signed up for this gig, motherhood, I don't think I knew.
I don't think I really knew how hard, how gut-wrenchingly hard it could be.

So I decided to dive in to my thousands (gulp) of pictures.
You can imagine how long this has taken me ... how many photos I haven't posted. But I have learned this. When life is Hard, there is so much good mixed in. So many beautiful moments, so many moments to be thankful for.

Jet lag + traveling together for 2 weeks = not too bad
It's all I really ever wanted to be. Love and care for my kids.
Love my kids, however God saw fit to give me them to me.
My kids are His kids. His beautiful, planned-before-time human beings.

His ultimate responsibility. My heart.

I adore each one of mine.
The Originals a few years ago

My sweet Natalie with her heart... oh so big! Advocate for the underdog. Watching her be a wife, a mom. The Best Thing Ever!! A gift ...

My Nicholas. Been fighting for his life with his first breath. A "best friend" to all. A lover of life in the midst of broken. Wanted ...

My Jacob. Intense, transparent, courageous boy. Battling it out... battling the task of just living, day by day. Loved ...

My Zachary. Genuine, sincere, oh-so-aware. Seeing him grow in to a young man of integrity. Adored ...

She said YES!
My son-in-law, Adrian... what a gift to us. A man of character. Fully devoted to my girl. Flourishing in life and in his love for God. Answer to prayer ...

My sweet Sophie. My first grandchild. Sweetness packaged in 24 pounds. Hilarious antics. Enormous melt downs. Fantastic smile. The Best Hug Giver Ever!!

Grandma's kisses xo
Raising this gift of a family has been a treasure
     but sometimes ...  so hard
It is a beautiful thing, in the midst of our mess,
  rarely contained and often out of control


In writing this, I'm choosing to recognize the oh-so obvious beauty that is my family. The wonder of raising kids, now mostly adults. The adding on to our family, the growing of our family.


We are definitely not living out a Hallmark movie,
         but we are definitely a divinely appointed family.

Decided by God. 
Loved by Him.
Dependent on Him.

This parenting thing can be so hard.
This loving of other human beings, self-surrendering.
Yes the struggles are so real
And YES, the beauty is so evident

It's really all I ever wanted to be.

running through the grass
with Uncle Zack


Today, tomorrow, this week... when life is hard...where will you look to see the beauty?