Friday, November 23, 2012

Don't Worry ...

Isn't today enough?
Seriously ... writing a blog with that name you would think I had worrying conquered.
You might have imagined I was the woman who had huge faith, knew how to surrender it all.
You might have imagined I never googled when I was worried, but instead dropped to my knees in prayer
You might have thought that I never had any issues that keep me up at night because I had learned to give all that stuff to God every day
To tell you the truth, I usually leave the Sleepless-Worry nights to my husband.
He just does that sooo well!!

But, it has been a long couple of weeks, actually months, in Kathy Land. A lot of nights where there's not much sleep. That's mostly because I'm just not feeling well (the not feeling well has been going on for quite a few months now and it's getting very old). That not feeling well is leading to the not sleeping well, which is leading to the being awake at night, which is leading to the mind wandering, and worrying and fixating, and worrying

Ahhhh
I wish sleep would come, all night long, not just sporadically.

So while I wait for answers, while I look for wisdom
I am writing
I am writing to remind myself ... and you ... that, 
    Even though I can't make my children make perfect decisions, though they'll have some bad days, and maybe make some really bad moves,
      I can and will love them,
      I will love them enough to let them decide on their own, I will love them enough to let them maybe even fail
   Even though I can't make my body run perfectly, or feel great
   even though I can't seem to make the nausea go away and don't have answers yet
   even though I don't have tons of energy, I can't seem to think clear enough to write, or work or do much some days,
      I don't have to have it all figured out - that has to be ok for right now!
   Even though I know my days aren't always going to run perfectly,
   Even though money may not be there for what it needs to be there for
   Even though some days time runs short and patience runs thin,
      I know my Friend has promised to be with me
            through every appointment He patiently waits while I worry and fret.
            through the long, sleepless nights He has promised to never leave me, never forsake me
Imagine that, He has promised
He never, ever breaks His promises .....

So today I am writing,
not very well mind you, but I am going to write and remind myself, and anyone who needs to hear
Don't borrow any more trouble from tomorrow,
Don't borrow from what might be
Don't borrow from what's unknown

Because Today is definitely enough!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Time for a Filter Change

"Chatty Kathy"
That was my very first nick name before I even knew I had a name!
Don't laugh ...
       I was born in the 60's
       Chatty Cathy was the name of a baby doll that everyone had to have in the 60's
       and I guess I liked to babble as a baby, I would talk and talk
              lots of sound, not much sense
(I'm sure my brother is laughing right now)

Cue the year 2012
     tweeting
     pinning
     blogging
     texting
     skyping
     streaming
     watching movies, Youtube, TV (what's that?)
and then there are those infamous status posts, likes, comments, links ......  ahhh!!!**

We live in an era in which we post every thought, every regret, every thing that ticks us off,
           we are told every opinion
                          and every mood
                               of every person on this blasted planet!**

The crazy part about this is
             I do pin, text, blog and tweet
             I do watch Youtube, movies, streaming events, and TV
             (born in the 60's remember?)

And you know ... I love my friends and family, I love knowing how they're doing
     how their babies are growing, and cooing and rolling
I appreciate when people let me know they're having a tough day or they need a friend
I do love being connected, hearing others' opinions and learning from other people's perspectives
I need people
But This is not about That

I'm afraid our "filters" are broken
Filters are what keep us from blurting out what we really feel at all times, to any one, any place
And those dang filters are in serious need of replacement, or cleaning or something.

Your filter is working when you start typing (texting), and then back space, back space, back space ...
          You start again, and then delete, delete, delete ...
You know how tempting it is to just press send or enter or post?!
DON"T DO IT!!!
Let's give those delete and back space buttons more air time.

It's like everyone has become an expert ...  It's like we all got a PhD in "smartness" all of a sudden
         What is often communicated with such seeming authority is often just passion
                  We feel it in our heart, or we just know it to be true ...
        (Careful! Those hearts of ours can really deceive us)
         What we claim to be a fact might just be a clip or song that went viral today
                   and because millions pressed like it must be ok
         What is written as right and normal might just be the voice of many,
                                       many who are wrong ??
We're looking for wisdom in culture,
in politics,
in music,
in entertainment
If we saw it on the internet then it must be true?  ... Really???
             
we speak, we emote, we criticize, we judge, we babble way too much
what we perceive as wisdom and truth might be just too much coffee ...
                                                                        I mean, not enough coffee,
                                                                        sleep deprivation, pizza at midnight ...

I'm afraid it's not gonna get better out there in cyberspace

So .... let's get out the hose and clean out that filter
         or maybe just go all out and get a brand new one

Then maybe there won't be so much babbling
            there won't be so much talking and talking
            less sound, more sense **

That's all ...
      I have to go clean my filter now


 **utilized the Delete and/or Backspace button