A couple mornings ago I went for a walk
(No running for me ... Try Screaming, It Helps Sometimes)
What else was I to do on a day when my brain had seemed to stopped, my heart was in overload, my mind was numb.
Numb brain ... I just decided that's a thing.
STUFF has happened lately... hard stuff.
What to say about it .... ??
How I should react ... I got nothin'
Feelings to feel, actions to take ... crickets I tell ya'
Just knowing what to make for dinner tonight? Now we're laughing!!
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months ... years??
Haven't got a clue what to do next, what to think, how to react?
without acting and sounding like a raving lunatic mad woman...
There's that!
This is a season of I got nothins' And I have to tell you, it's not cool.
I am a person that needs purpose.
I mean I need direction for absolutely everything...psyched up for the simplest of things.
That can be very good.
I become tenacious, and great follow through.
Once I have a plan then look out world, this blog will go viral!!
But when I don't know what's next,
or why something's happening
or what the out come might be for my kid if I don't have a plan or an answer or ....
That's when my brain throws in the scary what-ifs, the unknowns.
Those little minions of possibility, of pending doom and disaster.
These last few months I have felt less Knowing and much more "raving lunatic mad woman".
These last few years I have felt more unprepared and uncertain then I have in maybe my whole life.
I was the Queen of the IEP
(Individual Education Plan for those who don't know...
for those who do know, sorry for bringing that up during summer vacation)
I had so much medical knowledge (thanks WebMD) I should have been a doctor.
Mama Bear... hear me roar!!
So ... if you have any of these answers written across your forehead or tattooed on your arm feel free to share them with me. For goodness sake with the whole world! I'd love to do a Google search and find out why parenting young adults makes me feel like an idiot. I'd love to ask Siri and have her tell me "You'll be fine Kathy. You're doing just fine."
I'd like Bing to just tell me how or at least explain why?
But today... I got nothin'
(No running for me ... Try Screaming, It Helps Sometimes)
What else was I to do on a day when my brain had seemed to stopped, my heart was in overload, my mind was numb.
Numb brain ... I just decided that's a thing.STUFF has happened lately... hard stuff.
What to say about it .... ??
How I should react ... I got nothin'
Feelings to feel, actions to take ... crickets I tell ya'
Just knowing what to make for dinner tonight? Now we're laughing!!
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months ... years??
Haven't got a clue what to do next, what to think, how to react?
without acting and sounding like a raving lunatic mad woman...
There's that!
This is a season of I got nothins' And I have to tell you, it's not cool.
I am a person that needs purpose.
I mean I need direction for absolutely everything...psyched up for the simplest of things.
That can be very good.
I become tenacious, and great follow through.
Once I have a plan then look out world, this blog will go viral!!
But when I don't know what's next,
or why something's happening
or what the out come might be for my kid if I don't have a plan or an answer or ....
That's when my brain throws in the scary what-ifs, the unknowns.
Those little minions of possibility, of pending doom and disaster.
These last few months I have felt less Knowing and much more "raving lunatic mad woman".
These last few years I have felt more unprepared and uncertain then I have in maybe my whole life.
I was the Queen of the IEP
(Individual Education Plan for those who don't know...
for those who do know, sorry for bringing that up during summer vacation)
I had so much medical knowledge (thanks WebMD) I should have been a doctor.
Mama Bear... hear me roar!!
So ... if you have any of these answers written across your forehead or tattooed on your arm feel free to share them with me. For goodness sake with the whole world! I'd love to do a Google search and find out why parenting young adults makes me feel like an idiot. I'd love to ask Siri and have her tell me "You'll be fine Kathy. You're doing just fine."
I'd like Bing to just tell me how or at least explain why?
But today... I got nothin'
2 comments:
I obviously do not have young adult children, but I remember being a young adult child. In that season of my life (NOT GOOD), my dad sent me a postcard with some very simple, yet powerful words. I remember the impact those words had on me then, and tear up now thinking about how my dad (reserved in emotion, dry humor) bravely wrote those sentences and how they were a catalyst to change. I still have that postcard. I say that in no way as advice, just as a comment that believes that the Lord is already orchestrating your parenting. Love and hugs to you.
Timmarie, I read your comment immediately when you wrote it. Have attempted a few times to respond but this silly "reply" on my phone ... Arghh anyway, thanks for your feedback and your insight and encouragement! (Crossing my fingers to see if it worked this time XX...)
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