I’m realizing, after months, no possibly years of emotional exhaustion. I’m realizing that weariness is not bad.
Some days it’s heavy. A ton of hopelessness mixed it with self-condemnation.
Maybe I’m the one who's done it … Maybe I need to get a grip. Maybe I need to stop wallowing in the self-pity or living in the dark place called fear.
Yet, while it's true that what I’ve been experiencing may be intensely hard. So true. I've realized that the weariness doesn't mean it's bad. Being life-tired doesn't necessarily mean I've made a mistake or that I've failed somehow.
Recently, an evening with friends I found myself completely done. It was time. If these people, if they are who they say they are to me, to us, it was time to bare it all - emotionally and spiritually.
So the weight was shared. The grief and agony that we’re living
... it seemed so self-serving, it sounds so self-serving.
Except we know, we sincerely believe, that in order to be honest in relationships we need to risk and maybe expose a bit. So those dear friends got more than a glimpse, I’m afraid. They saw and heard some raw emotion, and in turn a more full picture of our lives, our perspective, the reality we are in. And in turn they shared our pain.
I recognize that only God truly understands each individual.
Only He understands Me.
Hey... I don’t get me.
But I am determined to say to hell with walls building up around my heart
Walls that spell out helplessness.
Helplessness that's attempting to strangle Hope, which in turn sabotages my future.
Oh those heart walls - they’re two-sided.
On the inside they scream I’m done!
On the outside they arrogantly say
I’m doing just fine, thanks
or
I don’t care about you anymore
and yet, the reality of this seeming apathy is so often the exhaustion talking
The other morning, after a long walk down my path...
the Me at the beginning sure didn't look like the Me at the end.
Started out with a bounce, determination, gonna get this done.
Ended like a worn out rag doll ... all my energy was gone.
The determination was true. The reasons for getting out there hadn’t changed but I was done… for today.
That’s what the outside wall is like. What looks like a lazy jogger or an apathetic athlete is just a weary one. Done walking for today. Done the workout for right now, but willing to head out there again… soon. Maybe tomorrow, but definitely soon.
So may I say to you my weary friend ... go ahead and be tired today, or maybe a few todays.
Share with a friend.
Risk a little, risk a lot.
Embrace the weary and rest.
Some days it’s heavy. A ton of hopelessness mixed it with self-condemnation.
Maybe I’m the one who's done it … Maybe I need to get a grip. Maybe I need to stop wallowing in the self-pity or living in the dark place called fear.
Yet, while it's true that what I’ve been experiencing may be intensely hard. So true. I've realized that the weariness doesn't mean it's bad. Being life-tired doesn't necessarily mean I've made a mistake or that I've failed somehow.
Recently, an evening with friends I found myself completely done. It was time. If these people, if they are who they say they are to me, to us, it was time to bare it all - emotionally and spiritually.
So the weight was shared. The grief and agony that we’re living
... it seemed so self-serving, it sounds so self-serving.
Except we know, we sincerely believe, that in order to be honest in relationships we need to risk and maybe expose a bit. So those dear friends got more than a glimpse, I’m afraid. They saw and heard some raw emotion, and in turn a more full picture of our lives, our perspective, the reality we are in. And in turn they shared our pain.
I recognize that only God truly understands each individual.
Only He understands Me.
Hey... I don’t get me.
But I am determined to say to hell with walls building up around my heart
Walls that spell out helplessness.
Helplessness that's attempting to strangle Hope, which in turn sabotages my future.
On the inside they scream I’m done!
On the outside they arrogantly say
I’m doing just fine, thanks
or
I don’t care about you anymore
and yet, the reality of this seeming apathy is so often the exhaustion talking
The other morning, after a long walk down my path...
the Me at the beginning sure didn't look like the Me at the end.
Started out with a bounce, determination, gonna get this done.
Ended like a worn out rag doll ... all my energy was gone.
The determination was true. The reasons for getting out there hadn’t changed but I was done… for today.
That’s what the outside wall is like. What looks like a lazy jogger or an apathetic athlete is just a weary one. Done walking for today. Done the workout for right now, but willing to head out there again… soon. Maybe tomorrow, but definitely soon.
So may I say to you my weary friend ... go ahead and be tired today, or maybe a few todays.
Share with a friend.
Risk a little, risk a lot.
Embrace the weary and rest.
