Monday, July 21, 2014

30 Years Together! What?!?

A week ago, while checking in to our Bed & Breakfast
to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary...
gaspare you kidding me!?!
                 Married for 30 blasted years!!!

Anyway,
      the innkeeper said to me...
"Thirty years. Wow! You'll have to tell me later what your secret is."
That got me to thinking.
What is the secret to 30 years of marriage?
and how did I get this old?
~~a week later~~


I don't think it's just one thing,
or even a secret at all
 
First of all, we've worked at it -  really, really worked at it.
2. It is HARD work a lot of the time
3. It's worth it.. and you have to believe that

4. We spend time together.
5. I never let my mind imagine life without him.
6. I like that we've passed the romantic expectations.
7. I love it when we have romantic moments.

8. Honesty is so important
9. Not saying everything I'm thinking is so important.

10. Finding my self-worth in who God made me to be takes the pressure off of us.

11. I can't change him (Norb) … I have to work on me.

12. We pray together, we really do - not nearly often enough but definitely often.
13. We still date, we really do - not nearly often enough but definitely often.

14. He doesn't bring me flowers very often … oh well.
15. I don't like wearing sexy stuff to bed … oh well.

16. We hold hands.
17. I'm happy to invite him out on date… or even book the Bed & Breakfast

18. I don't tell him how to cut his hair and he doesn't tell me how to color mine.

19. Therapy for me and therapy for us … it's worth the money

20. Vacations together … it's worth the money





21. Our kids mean too much to us for us to not mean the world to each other!!
Our kids & their Mama
Sophie & her Mama

22. Laughing.

23. I purposely preserve our friendship as the number one.
24. I purposely have great friendships that I work on. I love my girlfriends!
25. He purposely loves to do guy things with his guy friends.
26. If either one of us feels ignored we make sure we talk it through, work on it.

27. Netflix, coffee & dessert!!!!!

28. Forgiving even when we haven't worked it all out
29. Kissing … almost forgot that one but I'm positive he wouldn't ;-)

30. The more I fall in love with my Creator, the more love I have for Norb.

Some of these seem silly to post because,
              well, they are so obvious.
Yet, while writing it down I realized that
    sometimes it's the most obvious things we miss.
    sometimes it's the simplest stuff,
            like giving each other a break.
            like holding on for a few days, weeks or even months
                believing this relationship storm will pass.
       Or like committing to something that you've made a commitment to.
See what I mean? Kind of obvious.

I'm almost done here … bear with me.

Work … seems to be a common theme
Most of the 30 I've posted have to do with me
  not because marriage is single-minded
    but because only I can deal with I.
If I try to lay the heavy on him all the time then we're screwed.

Hey … now that you're done, go back and re-read #30.
Cause after all my yammering here … there you have it.
The secret to 30 that is no longer a secret!!

Norb… Here's to 30 more.  I love you!!!!




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