When life doesn't do what it's supposed to … what's up with that?

It doesn't always end up like you planned it.
That's the thing with life.

Months ago (or is it years already) I wrote about our Planned Parenthood fail
No, the failure wasn't that we aren't parents because we definitely are
       or the children that God gave us
They are #awesome!!!!

The Fail was in the planning part,
    the ability to even think I could have any control
        when, how many, boys or girls
Didn't end up being a failure I guess, but a perfectly orchestrated, brought-together family.

But here's to that control thing…
I have none!
I HAVE NO CONTROL!
There - I said it!

I can imagine what raising kids should be like, how smooth it should be or where the bumps should show up.
But dang it! It's just not that simple
It's hard growing up in the most "perfect" of circumstances, let alone when you've been struggling your whole life.

Believe me, I'm a realist, don't get shocked too much anymore (not sure that's great)
And I can't say this is shock or surprise here. Just an "are you kidding me?" kind of day … week … month!

I think I'm actually, slowly, step by step, surrendering control of that
But once in a while
Arghhhh!!!
Life knocks hard at you, pushes you around, gives you a "what the …?"

So I needed to rant a bit.
I think this post would have been much more juicy if I gave you the details.
Let's just say this. There have been a couple of ER visits, one car accident, a very large gathering in my home that went … should I say, sideways … fast! One drug withdrawal (mine - no I'm not addicted to anything, at least I didn't think so and if I told you what and why I was taking it you would say "what the…?" as well)

And on a serious note (that was the lightweight stuff)
    ongoing physical symptoms that are looking pretty dang scary for one of mine.

We have joined a few more "clubs" this last month, can relate to a few more people out there, have prayed consistently, struggled nonstop and surrendered over and over.

Life just isn't that simple.
And I just wish someone had told me that earlier.
That's all
Rant over
Hug a kid today, yours or someone else's
Just, make sure you hug a kid!