Monday, October 15, 2012

Change

It really happened ... I'm finding it hard to believe 
(and really I shouldn't be shocked, should I?)

Lying in bed two nights ago - feeling a little
   heavy in my heart
I'm lying in bed praying for a miracle.

*** for future purposes in this blog, when I say "praying ______ " I really mean actually praying, not "wishing" "thinking" "worrying" 
cause if I'm wishing, thinking or worrying, I will let you know

Anyway, I was lying there, praying for a couple of miracles actually.....

A prayer was said, Out Loud - to the point - and extremely sincere
         with just that little bit of faith that the God whom I was praying to was listening and caring

Fast forward about 18 hours later
  sitting in a chair reading a new book (really cool new book),
     listening to some music,
        looking up and seeing one boy reading a book 
        (another really cool book),
           another one doing homework .... and it really hit me.

The miracles I had prayed for had been answered with a YES

um ... No
It wasn't the reading of a book by a boy 
   or doing the homework without any prompting by another boy
    (did we all just feel the earth shift on it's axis just a little???)

It hit me then, that when I had woken up that next morning after the 
Out Loud prayer, God had done the impossible
   He had done "my" impossible
   something I could not manipulate or control,
                     I could not coerce, convince or even threaten 
(though I've been known to try all of those endearing tactics .... 
sometimes all at once)

No ... there wasn't a newly remodeled kitchen in place of the slightly water 
    damaged one
No ... the gas tank wasn't miraculously filled with enough gasoline to 
    actually last all week

These prayers had to do with heart, and mind, and character. The really important ones... the ones that are harder to actually track, you know?

But the prayer had been specific - I had asked for specific reactions, mood shifts and even some action.

It had happened!!

Do you get it?  I kind of wish I could explain exact details of what happened 
                - I can't -

Try to imagine with me Something completely out of your will and control
Something that seems to always happen the same way,
Changed
Someone who always reacts the same way,
Changed
Someone who seems to always respond the same way
Changed!!

Not the same, not in my control, not what I expected (but yet did expect ... )

I really knew my God could do it - I really knew it.  I didn't know if I dared hope that it would happen that directly but I have gotten to a place in my thinking and heart
at least some times
"it doesn't hurt to ask."

So, just ask for tomorrow what you would never expect ...
Because what we assume is stuck, like a broken record
what we assume will happen again the next day, just like it always does

just might Change








       

2 comments:

Amie said...

Thank you, God, for HOPE...You, God, always look for ways to bolster our faith! Fist-pumping God with ya!

Holly said...

He's amazing, isn't He? I'm experiencing something similar with someone in my life. Moods, choices, reactions...all different and changed. I keep wanting to pinch myself. Like you, I knew He could do it. But, somehow, didn't exactly expect He would. Now I'm standing here slackjawed, humbled by His kindness.

Rejoicing with you, my friend!!